Question: Where do you kick heaven?
This question presupposes that if you were texting the universe right now, your text would read “WTF, Universe. WTF.”
Of course you get no reply.
When that happens, like most humans, your fifth reaction is to take matters into your own feet, as it were. Oh sure, you tried faith, summoning inner-confidence, bravery in the face of these newest unfortunate adventures, honesty, drinking (lots). But really, your inner toddler is unsatisfied with all these bullshit attempts at constructively dealing and at some point, that yowl you’ve kept down is going to come tearing out, as your limbs go flying with angry abandon. You’re going to kick heaven. Even though the act itself is akin to dropping a pea onto a waterbed, you’re going to do it anyway.
So, puny worm, where do you kick heaven?
I would kick heaven outside of the grocery store while it is carrying a few shopping bags. I’d kick it in the ass and then hopefully have time to run away before it put down the shopping bags to chase me.
I think for good measure, after ass-kicking, you ought to also kick heaven in the groceries so the bag splits. Perhaps heaven will slip on a banana peel when trying to chase you. Just sayin’.
I’ve already kicked heaven. Heaven, as it is classically defined, sounds dreadfully boring.
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.
did laura just quote a meat loaf song?
that is actually going to be my answer…
“that is actually going to be my answer”
Because you’re a bad girl?